Facebook: The Wedding Planner of Tomorrow?

Here's the thing... I did not hire Facebook to be my wedding planner/vendor guide... however, apparently Facebook did not get the message, as since the day I changed my "official" relationship status my profile wall has been littered with ads relating to weddings and engagements. Now I realize that Facebook (like Google and other Internet based applications) gears its advertising to the content listed within the profile/web page/blog (etc...), but frankly it is starting to be a bit much.

Seriously, I don't know how many times a day I need to be reminded that I am getting married and need to be able to fit into my wedding dress! "The Wedding Dress Diet" and the "Liquid HCG Diet for Brides" (ummm what is HCG? Forget it, I probably don't want to know), are just two of a mass number of websites appearing on my profile geared towards making the bride-to-be panic and buy into the conspiracy that is the diet industry.

I would like to see an ad for this picture...

Tied up by Marriage... Try 1-800-1HELPME

Then again there are the ads suggesting I buy "Pinwheel" bouquets for my bridesmaids and that I too can have the "Perfect Wedding", or better yet I can have the destination wedding of my dreams... frankly Facebook basically does the work for you, it is all there, but would the service on the other end of the ad actually be more than a trained chimpanzee on a telephone? Wait another ad for "MarreMe" wedding planners just appeared... if you think I am lying and exaggerating the number of ads, I am not... I have viewed all of these ads in less than five minutes! Can you imagine the advertising exposure these ads give off? And frankly what I have just mentioned doesn’t even scratch the surface... there are wedding ring ads, cake ads, dress ads, venue ads, honeymoon ads, and ads just advertising ads! It gets to be a bit much and frankly a little like wedding bell capitalism overload!  There are even ads for wedding kilts!  Wait I need to look into this...

I guess all of the pending nuptial ads should act as a warning for after I get married, as I am willing to bet the ads that will appear after September 18th when Brandon and I say "I do" and I change my Facebook status will consist of a totally different theme... Viagra, divorce lawyers, divorce courts, open relationship counsellors, marital aids, mediators, dating for the discriminating client, How to Cheat for Dummies... you get the point... now you are probably sitting there worried that my emotion/opinion of marriage is jaded and bitter... but don't worry it isn't, the problem is that I am a realist and can't see advertisers making a lot of money off of ads for romantic getaway weekends, foot rubs, and books on How to Run a Hot Bath with Bubbles, Candles, and Rose Petals for Dummies (PS I am still trying to figure out what HCG is...).

What happens after I start having kids? Will the tone change? Will it be summer camps, Sylvan, and prep schools? I suppose only time and technology will tell... oooh they just added another ad... "Hey Day" online wedding services - how to build your wedding web page! I like to think I am doing okay... and now there is Bridal Cash Registry and Couture Bride... the ads will never end! I suppose this is what I have to look forward to as the days tick away and we get closer to the BIG day! In fact we are T-minus less than 6 months (how did that happen?)! Therefore stay tuned as the days progress and my tales continue as we get closer and closer to the alter... and closer to ads emphasizing divorce, alternative dating, ball and chains, nursing homes, and that ever faithful blue pill (I can’t wait 'cause that means I have married Brandon!)... let me know if anyone knows what HCG is!

Swimming in the Pool of Weddings

Blub, blub, tablecloths, blub, blub, registry, blub, blub, taxes...

I have to say that it always amazes me how when one starts planning a wedding the thinking never stops. For instance I have spent the one million days that have passed since Brandon proposed trying to pick colours for the wedding. Yes I know I have ordered bridesmaid dresses and the invitation paper, but the fact is that I am finding the actual decor colour scheme difficult to develop as a result of, well, everything! (Scottish may seem cool, but it adds a special layer of complexity to the situation).

Therefore, when I went with my lovely entourage (AKA: the Fiancé, the MOH, and the Queen Mum) up to Royal Ashburn to pick out table cloths for the day I felt a little overwhelmed with colour... it was everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. We were met at Ashburn by my lovely wedding planner (who had a Scottish wedding herself) and were offered a number of choices all of which would be perfect. In some ways I felt like a kindergartener and wanted to pick one of everything.

As the true spaze I am we debated everything (and are still working on completely crystallizing the ideas), however what impressed me the most was how supportive and understanding everyone was and not once did anyone suggest I would do better in a mental institution or perhaps as the "poop scooper" in a three ring circus - you know the job I am talking about... the dude/chick with the backwards hat following the parade of elephants around with an extra large shovel, known as "the" shovel (sorry folks not for home use, as they are only available via special order and not from Canadian Tire, Wal-Mart or Zellers).

Therefore the debate... do I choose green? chocolate? champagne? buttercup yellow? electric blue? dogwood rose? jazzberry jam? well you get the point... (Don’t worry electric blue is not really an option! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_colors). Well the verdict has been reached, but only as a result of a huge expenditure of brain power on my part... sigh... this is where the blub, blub, blubbing starts.

Now with tablecloths planted firmly in my past (thank God), I have turned my attention to registering. DISCLAIMER: I WOULD LIKE TO STATE NOW THAT I DON`T EXPECT GIFTS, I ONLY WANT TO SHARE BRANDON AND MY BIG DAY WITH OUR CLOSEST LOVED ONES. PLEASE DO NOT FEEL YOU NEED TO BUY FROM THE REGISTRY THIS IS JUST ME EXPLAINING MY TALE... In order to avoid the appearance of asking for gifts I am not going to use the stores' names in this discussion; instead I am going to refer to the first store we registered at as “Regina Phalange” (I miss Friends) and the second as “Tom, Dick and Harry”.

Never having been married or had a baby before I have never registered, hence why this was a bit of a learning experience... We went to Regina Phalange and met with the staff member assigned to the registry area... then we were turned loose with a scanner and a never ending time frame. Frankly I think Brandon became blinded by the light of Regina Phalange’s “electronics’ department”, as his top priority was to scan a number shiny objects (aka televisions) and a few lazy boy recliners... once I got that out of Brandon’s system and suggested that perhaps we would do better with a few gifts geared towards actually living in our future residence (aka sheets, towels, dishes) we really got down to business.

Our second stop was Tom, Dick and Harry. This store was not as much fun as Regina Phalange as I feel that it did not have enough to offer and the quality just wasn’t there. However, we finished off the items on our list, but we still had one more stop...

While Tom, Dick and Harry and Regina Phalange proved to be interesting experiences, Brandon and I found the Oshawa Regina Phalange rather lacking and decided we would be better off hitting the downtown location... and the only thing that can be said is WOW! And as a result we are now done the whole “registering process” with the minor exception that we have a king sized duvet registered with a queen sized duvet cover, but the way I look at it marriage is a work in progress... blub.

The final topic that I am swimming in as we tick down the days till the wedding (198 and counting!) is the HST. This is a problem because we clarified with all of our vendors when we signed the contract the impact the HST would have on our cost, but when it came down to it not all of them respected our contracts. Therefore, blub, I have been spending the last few weeks, blub, trying to sort out this mess and fight the “good” fight, blub. I will explain the whole saga when it comes time to pass, but for now let me say that it is drama ridden at best.

Did anyone note my mention of 198 days and counting? We have entered a new century of pre-wedding bliss and I cannot wait for the days to tick away. As such I want to take this moment and thank both our families for all they do for each of us every day. For example without my MOH, I would be lost (she is my hero after all).

WE ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!