A phrase that has appeared in several of my previous "ramblings" is "The Unit" and thus far this phrase has gone unexplained, a situation I wish to correct, right here, right now. However, before I provide an explanation I feel it is important to first define what "The Unit" is not before explaining what "The Unit" is. Therefore, please indulge the following...
"The Unit" is Not:
... a reference to the CBS television show that went off the air tragically because the network failed to capitalize on a show featuring hot guys in army uniforms (genius I say, genius) (for more information please visit: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/the_unit/ - they really are hot!);
...a form/method of measurement (i.e. one unit of blood... or better yet one unit of alcohol);
...a music group (i.e. "G-Unit");
...a synthpunk band from San Francisco from 1978 to 1984 ("The Units");
...an enzyme cavity; and/or,
...an indie pop album by the Australian band "Regurgitator" (yes, they are named Regurgitator and yes I would like tickets to one of their concerts purely because they are called “Regurgitator”... I wonder if Gravol is a sponsor?).
My Bridesmaids (Wedding Party Party, September 18, 2009)
Now that I have clarified what "The Unit" is not, I would like to clarify what it is... "The Unit" refers to the gang of ladies I am lucky to have support me during the 11 months (eek 11 months!) left before my wedding day... AKA: My Bridesmaids. Therefore, "The Unit" is a term meaning friend and support system and while there is no Wikipedia article that demonstrates this fact just take my word for it... mind you I wouldn't mind being supported by a troop of hot guys in uniform (friend or foe) so perhaps we can hope for a looser definition in the future.
The history of the term (so you don't think I am some crazy, militaristic loon) relates back to a simple conversation I had with "The Unit" at the Wedding Party Party. During the course of the evening I referred to everyone in the Wedding Party as a cohesive group a "Unit" if you will... Now for some reason this turn of phrase sparked concern (errr... terror) for my bridesmaids as for some reason images of me with a whip and a box of invitations to be put together flitted through their heads (not quite sugarplums, but hey it works for me... what is the saying, "absolute power corrupts absolutely"?). Nonetheless, it has warmed to all (by hook or by crook, cough...) and I couldn't be happier with the name [as who knows I may really be a crazy, militaristic loon after all].
And now I would like to introduce you to the group of ladies I am pleased to say comprise "The Unit" (in no particular order):
Megan (Maid of Honour or in keeping with my crazy, militaristic loon side - Lt. General): Megan has been my sister, friend, enemy, confidant, life support and everything in between pretty much since she was born (there was some doubt earlier in this decade, but it has all been resolved) and that is why she is going to stand beside me as my Maid of Honour – we share friendship, as well as a gene pool;
Sisters! Toronto Wedding Show (February 2009)
Elizabeth (Rear Admiral - she travels a lot so that's why she's Navy as opposed to Army): Elizabeth and I met at the felt board on our first day of kindergarten and no matter how far we travel we always come back to the same spot - friendship (err... I don't really travel she does, but for the purposes of my ego let's say we);
We've come a LONG way from the felt board Lady!
Lorraine (Major-General): Having been friends for just over 5 years I have to be honest we met because of chicken (ahh the Swiss), but formed a lasting friendship because of her willingness to put up with Brandon (oh and because of laughter, friendship and me giving her directions… poor girl).
Is it a Monkey? Is it a Pindrop? No (we hope!) it's a Baby!
Mallory (Major General): Whether we are fending off Stratfordian Pirates or in elementary school lip-synching to "I Can't Wait to be King" Mallory's support and friendship has never been far from hand and she can’t run away from it no matter how far she runs (and I mean she can REALLY run far!).
Maybe we should give you a moment?
Now that I have introduced "The Unit" I would like to add a couple of other add ons to my contingent that cannot be omitted despite their gender, location or species... they are as follows:
Laura (Queen Mum): Being the head of the female branch of my family my mom performs every job from Chief Cook and Bottle Washer to Medic... (tear);
Robert (Admiral): Being the head of the male branch of my family he too performs every job from Quartermaster to Latrine Duty... (I love you guys);
They must love me...
Kathy (AWOL): From Pathfinders to Swiss, Kathy is a true friend… despite the fact she has taken off for the beautiful mountains of BC she is not far from my mind (I miss you Kathy);
Doesn't she make a beautiful bride? (Kathy's Wedding - July 2006)
Piper (Private): Piper is definitely in the wedding party even if my mother is still opposed to the plan and his not so human status may create a few obstacles to the overall success of my getting up the aisle (he will want my bouquet guaranteed). Nevertheless, Private Piper cannot be left out as he serves as the Court Jester and performs the supply end of the supply and demand chain of Dad’s latrine duty.
Fashion Forward? Look at how the blue brings out his fur...
Coming Next Spring - "Barking Up The Fashion Tree: Queer Eye for the Straight Dog"
Now that you have been formally introduced to "The Unit" it is time to say good night; it is Friday and while I may be the General of this rag-tag team of Army/Navy/Deserters I always have zero energy on Friday nights. However, if you take anything from this posting please keep the following in mind: I am looking for a team of hot guys in uniform to support me (love you ladies and all, but really don’t you think the wedding might be more fun?)... mind you I guess I could settle for a guy I love to pieces and wouldn’t trade for a million bucks (he does wear a uniform after all!).
Now for those of you who are concerned that I have forgotten Brandon's crew, don't worry.
There will be a description to follow soon.
Well done. Private Piper will not be in the wedding though!!!!!! I am very partiotic but NO way!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI think Piper should be in the wedding, and my blue sweater will be a great colour for him to wear as it should go decently with the kilts.
ReplyDelete