Seriously, I don't know how many times a day I need to be reminded that I am getting married and need to be able to fit into my wedding dress! "The Wedding Dress Diet" and the "Liquid HCG Diet for Brides" (ummm what is HCG? Forget it, I probably don't want to know), are just two of a mass number of websites appearing on my profile geared towards making the bride-to-be panic and buy into the conspiracy that is the diet industry.
I would like to see an ad for this picture...
Tied up by Marriage... Try 1-800-1HELPME
Then again there are the ads suggesting I buy "Pinwheel" bouquets for my bridesmaids and that I too can have the "Perfect Wedding", or better yet I can have the destination wedding of my dreams... frankly Facebook basically does the work for you, it is all there, but would the service on the other end of the ad actually be more than a trained chimpanzee on a telephone? Wait another ad for "MarreMe" wedding planners just appeared... if you think I am lying and exaggerating the number of ads, I am not... I have viewed all of these ads in less than five minutes! Can you imagine the advertising exposure these ads give off? And frankly what I have just mentioned doesn’t even scratch the surface... there are wedding ring ads, cake ads, dress ads, venue ads, honeymoon ads, and ads just advertising ads! It gets to be a bit much and frankly a little like wedding bell capitalism overload! There are even ads for wedding kilts! Wait I need to look into this...
I guess all of the pending nuptial ads should act as a warning for after I get married, as I am willing to bet the ads that will appear after September 18th when Brandon and I say "I do" and I change my Facebook status will consist of a totally different theme... Viagra, divorce lawyers, divorce courts, open relationship counsellors, marital aids, mediators, dating for the discriminating client, How to Cheat for Dummies... you get the point... now you are probably sitting there worried that my emotion/opinion of marriage is jaded and bitter... but don't worry it isn't, the problem is that I am a realist and can't see advertisers making a lot of money off of ads for romantic getaway weekends, foot rubs, and books on How to Run a Hot Bath with Bubbles, Candles, and Rose Petals for Dummies (PS I am still trying to figure out what HCG is...).
What happens after I start having kids? Will the tone change? Will it be summer camps, Sylvan, and prep schools? I suppose only time and technology will tell... oooh they just added another ad... "Hey Day" online wedding services - how to build your wedding web page! I like to think I am doing okay... and now there is Bridal Cash Registry and Couture Bride... the ads will never end! I suppose this is what I have to look forward to as the days tick away and we get closer to the BIG day! In fact we are T-minus less than 6 months (how did that happen?)! Therefore stay tuned as the days progress and my tales continue as we get closer and closer to the alter... and closer to ads emphasizing divorce, alternative dating, ball and chains, nursing homes, and that ever faithful blue pill (I can’t wait 'cause that means I have married Brandon!)... let me know if anyone knows what HCG is!
Human chorionic gonadotropin or Human chorionic gonadotrophin (hCG) is a glycoprotein hormone produced in pregnancy that is made by the developing embryo after conception and later by the syncytiotrophoblast (part of the placenta). Its role is to prevent the disintegration of the corpus luteum of the ovary and thereby maintain progesterone production that is critical for a pregnancy in humans. hCG may have additional functions; for instance, it is thought that hCG affects the immune tolerance of the pregnancy. Early pregnancy testing, in general, is based on the detection or measurement of hCG. Because hCG is produced also by some kinds of tumor, hCG is an important tumor marker especially (with clinical significance) in Gestational trophoblastic disease[1], but it is not known whether this production is a contributing cause or an effect of tumorigenesis.
ReplyDeleteA controversial usage of hCG is as an adjunct to the British endocrinologist A.T.W. Simeons' ultra-low-calorie weight-loss diet (less than 500 Calories).[9] Simeons, while studying pregnant women in India on a calorie-deficient diet, and “fat boys” with pituitary problems (Frölich's_syndrome) treated with low-dose hCG, discovered that both lost fat rather than lean (muscle) tissue. He reasoned that hCG must be programming the hypothalamus to do this in the former cases in order to protect the developing fetus by promoting mobilization and consumption of abnormal, excessive adipose deposits. Simeons, practicing at Salvator Mundi International Hospital in Rome, Italy, recommended low-dose daily hCG injections (125 mg) in combination with a customized ultra-low-calorie (500 cal/day, high-protein, low-carbohydrate/fat) diet loss of adipose tissue without loss of lean tissue.
I was curious too!
It's getting close!
So what u are saying is it is not a hot Cuban guy??? (darn!)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the information! I am only moderately disturbed!
I cannot believe how close it is getting... How'd that happen?