Dancing Queen, Bridesmaid Dresses, THE TASTING!, and a Place to Call Home...

Dresses, dresses, and more dresses... as you can tell my brain has been on dresses as of late. Once my wedding dress was secure and safely back in the country it was time for the arrival of my bridesmaids’ dresses!

Out to dinner after picking up the lovely dresses!

I was so excited to see them... it is a strange situation picking out dresses for four different people - it was especially complicated because I couldn't see the final product in the colour I had chosen until they arrived - a fact that drives me insane (can't be that far off I am pretty close to nuts already!). While I am still unable to describe the dress I chose, I will say they are beautiful and are safe and sound in Whitby. Thus far I have loved seeing each of my lovely Unit members in them and cannot wait to see the final product when they are standing beside me on September 18, 2010.

Another activity that has put me in the "wedding" mood was going to see Mamma Mia (http://www.mamma-mia.com/) with Brandon, Megan, and Amandeep... there is nothing better than a little ABBA to get you feeling excited for nuptials. The show was fantastic and I will admit (probably to Brandon's chagrin!) that we held hands during the wedding scene and it made the fact our big day is approaching and will be here before we know it that much more exciting.

A day on the farm... isn't he cute???

The next exciting thing on the agenda as of late is that we went to Royal Ashburn (http://www.royalashburngolfclub.com/the_perfect_setting.php) for the tasting!  The food was amazing and we had such a good time - of course we would have a good time as it equalled non-stop eating and selection being brought continuously before you!  It was very difficult to choose the options (especially the soup course - who knew?), but we finally succeeded and we are really happy with it.  The easiest choice in the end was dessert (so yummy!).  I can't wait!  I just hope I have time to eat (LOL) - I guess there are some bonuses to being diabetic - guaranteed food supply.

Gotta love family - Tasting at Royal Ashburn

Lastly the biggest news for Brandon and I is that we found a place to live!  We are moving to the T-Dot.  It is a big change, but look at it this way... we are not ending up living in my parents' basement, which realistically if we didn't find something... kidding Mom!  We are pumped about the new place and are able to take possession in the middle of the month... well Brandon moves in to the apartment in July, I will follow in September, but that is neither here nor there.  The building is from the 1930s and there is an amazing "old school" elevator - it is just perfect for us!  We can't wait.

Am I really going to be living with that?

Well I think I have finally caught up on all the tales of the last few weeks.  That means I can return to my regular full out rambling blogs (yes please don't cry with excitement!).  I hope everyone had a wonderful Canada Day!  80 Days People!

Facebook: The Wedding Planner of Tomorrow?

Here's the thing... I did not hire Facebook to be my wedding planner/vendor guide... however, apparently Facebook did not get the message, as since the day I changed my "official" relationship status my profile wall has been littered with ads relating to weddings and engagements. Now I realize that Facebook (like Google and other Internet based applications) gears its advertising to the content listed within the profile/web page/blog (etc...), but frankly it is starting to be a bit much.

Seriously, I don't know how many times a day I need to be reminded that I am getting married and need to be able to fit into my wedding dress! "The Wedding Dress Diet" and the "Liquid HCG Diet for Brides" (ummm what is HCG? Forget it, I probably don't want to know), are just two of a mass number of websites appearing on my profile geared towards making the bride-to-be panic and buy into the conspiracy that is the diet industry.

I would like to see an ad for this picture...

Tied up by Marriage... Try 1-800-1HELPME

Then again there are the ads suggesting I buy "Pinwheel" bouquets for my bridesmaids and that I too can have the "Perfect Wedding", or better yet I can have the destination wedding of my dreams... frankly Facebook basically does the work for you, it is all there, but would the service on the other end of the ad actually be more than a trained chimpanzee on a telephone? Wait another ad for "MarreMe" wedding planners just appeared... if you think I am lying and exaggerating the number of ads, I am not... I have viewed all of these ads in less than five minutes! Can you imagine the advertising exposure these ads give off? And frankly what I have just mentioned doesn’t even scratch the surface... there are wedding ring ads, cake ads, dress ads, venue ads, honeymoon ads, and ads just advertising ads! It gets to be a bit much and frankly a little like wedding bell capitalism overload!  There are even ads for wedding kilts!  Wait I need to look into this...

I guess all of the pending nuptial ads should act as a warning for after I get married, as I am willing to bet the ads that will appear after September 18th when Brandon and I say "I do" and I change my Facebook status will consist of a totally different theme... Viagra, divorce lawyers, divorce courts, open relationship counsellors, marital aids, mediators, dating for the discriminating client, How to Cheat for Dummies... you get the point... now you are probably sitting there worried that my emotion/opinion of marriage is jaded and bitter... but don't worry it isn't, the problem is that I am a realist and can't see advertisers making a lot of money off of ads for romantic getaway weekends, foot rubs, and books on How to Run a Hot Bath with Bubbles, Candles, and Rose Petals for Dummies (PS I am still trying to figure out what HCG is...).

What happens after I start having kids? Will the tone change? Will it be summer camps, Sylvan, and prep schools? I suppose only time and technology will tell... oooh they just added another ad... "Hey Day" online wedding services - how to build your wedding web page! I like to think I am doing okay... and now there is Bridal Cash Registry and Couture Bride... the ads will never end! I suppose this is what I have to look forward to as the days tick away and we get closer to the BIG day! In fact we are T-minus less than 6 months (how did that happen?)! Therefore stay tuned as the days progress and my tales continue as we get closer and closer to the alter... and closer to ads emphasizing divorce, alternative dating, ball and chains, nursing homes, and that ever faithful blue pill (I can’t wait 'cause that means I have married Brandon!)... let me know if anyone knows what HCG is!

Swimming in the Pool of Weddings

Blub, blub, tablecloths, blub, blub, registry, blub, blub, taxes...

I have to say that it always amazes me how when one starts planning a wedding the thinking never stops. For instance I have spent the one million days that have passed since Brandon proposed trying to pick colours for the wedding. Yes I know I have ordered bridesmaid dresses and the invitation paper, but the fact is that I am finding the actual decor colour scheme difficult to develop as a result of, well, everything! (Scottish may seem cool, but it adds a special layer of complexity to the situation).

Therefore, when I went with my lovely entourage (AKA: the Fiancé, the MOH, and the Queen Mum) up to Royal Ashburn to pick out table cloths for the day I felt a little overwhelmed with colour... it was everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. We were met at Ashburn by my lovely wedding planner (who had a Scottish wedding herself) and were offered a number of choices all of which would be perfect. In some ways I felt like a kindergartener and wanted to pick one of everything.

As the true spaze I am we debated everything (and are still working on completely crystallizing the ideas), however what impressed me the most was how supportive and understanding everyone was and not once did anyone suggest I would do better in a mental institution or perhaps as the "poop scooper" in a three ring circus - you know the job I am talking about... the dude/chick with the backwards hat following the parade of elephants around with an extra large shovel, known as "the" shovel (sorry folks not for home use, as they are only available via special order and not from Canadian Tire, Wal-Mart or Zellers).

Therefore the debate... do I choose green? chocolate? champagne? buttercup yellow? electric blue? dogwood rose? jazzberry jam? well you get the point... (Don’t worry electric blue is not really an option! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_colors). Well the verdict has been reached, but only as a result of a huge expenditure of brain power on my part... sigh... this is where the blub, blub, blubbing starts.

Now with tablecloths planted firmly in my past (thank God), I have turned my attention to registering. DISCLAIMER: I WOULD LIKE TO STATE NOW THAT I DON`T EXPECT GIFTS, I ONLY WANT TO SHARE BRANDON AND MY BIG DAY WITH OUR CLOSEST LOVED ONES. PLEASE DO NOT FEEL YOU NEED TO BUY FROM THE REGISTRY THIS IS JUST ME EXPLAINING MY TALE... In order to avoid the appearance of asking for gifts I am not going to use the stores' names in this discussion; instead I am going to refer to the first store we registered at as “Regina Phalange” (I miss Friends) and the second as “Tom, Dick and Harry”.

Never having been married or had a baby before I have never registered, hence why this was a bit of a learning experience... We went to Regina Phalange and met with the staff member assigned to the registry area... then we were turned loose with a scanner and a never ending time frame. Frankly I think Brandon became blinded by the light of Regina Phalange’s “electronics’ department”, as his top priority was to scan a number shiny objects (aka televisions) and a few lazy boy recliners... once I got that out of Brandon’s system and suggested that perhaps we would do better with a few gifts geared towards actually living in our future residence (aka sheets, towels, dishes) we really got down to business.

Our second stop was Tom, Dick and Harry. This store was not as much fun as Regina Phalange as I feel that it did not have enough to offer and the quality just wasn’t there. However, we finished off the items on our list, but we still had one more stop...

While Tom, Dick and Harry and Regina Phalange proved to be interesting experiences, Brandon and I found the Oshawa Regina Phalange rather lacking and decided we would be better off hitting the downtown location... and the only thing that can be said is WOW! And as a result we are now done the whole “registering process” with the minor exception that we have a king sized duvet registered with a queen sized duvet cover, but the way I look at it marriage is a work in progress... blub.

The final topic that I am swimming in as we tick down the days till the wedding (198 and counting!) is the HST. This is a problem because we clarified with all of our vendors when we signed the contract the impact the HST would have on our cost, but when it came down to it not all of them respected our contracts. Therefore, blub, I have been spending the last few weeks, blub, trying to sort out this mess and fight the “good” fight, blub. I will explain the whole saga when it comes time to pass, but for now let me say that it is drama ridden at best.

Did anyone note my mention of 198 days and counting? We have entered a new century of pre-wedding bliss and I cannot wait for the days to tick away. As such I want to take this moment and thank both our families for all they do for each of us every day. For example without my MOH, I would be lost (she is my hero after all).

WE ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!

I'll Have Gray-Asparagus With That...

Dresses, dresses and more dresses... what a difficult thing for a bride to decide. First the bride has to pick out her wedding gown, which can be a difficult task all on its own, but then she has to pick something for 1 or more of her closest female (or male) friends to wear - first focusing on the colour, then the length (i.e. long, cocktail, tea length, or hooker), then the neck line (or no neck line as the case may be), and then, and then, and then... at some juncture the whole process becomes a little overwhelming and the bride begins playing a mental game of Bridesmaid Survivor... or rather Bridal Survivor (do I really want to get married if it means having to search and search for a dress that will keep everyone happy and I may potentially hate?). Therefore, setting out to find a dress for my lovely Unit was a little more difficult then I originally anticipated.

Lunch with Carter and the Unit... He Fits Right In!

Frankly if I were to lay blame for my stress it would be best to be honest right up front and say I made a mistake immediately: I left myself too open to suggestions from others, and as I am a person who wants to make everyone happy this is a dangerous situation. As the Guys and Doll(s) of our wedding party are all wearing kilts for the big day I didn't want the girls wearing short dresses as frankly I felt we had enough leg on display already. However, it is tricky in the year 2010 to ask your bridal party to wear matching dresses, let alone full length gowns. Therefore, I began to stress and stress and stress about pushing for long dresses... who knew it was so hard to find something that worked with the theme? and when did all the cocktail dresses become so... cough... night-club-esque? (Man I am starting to sound twice my age!).

We're Still Celebrating the Whole Carter Being Born Thing...

After going out with the ladies to look at dresses I finally stated loud and clear that short was out. I felt terrible and this was my second mistake: feeling terrible. I think one of the things that is easy to happen when you are getting married is to get lost in the chaos and try to please everyone (because sometimes it is just easier). I had spun myself into circles trying to come up with a solution that I would be good with, but at the end of the day your gut always knows and my gut knew I wouldn't be happy unless the dresses were long.

Bridal Branial Breakdown is a disease that I am starting to suffer from (yes I made this term up myself and I personally feel it is going to be Legend (wait for it) ary – sorry I have been watching way too my How I Met Your Mother lately and am starting to talk like Barney; before long I am going to be telling people to "suit up" and referring to myself in the third person as "awesome"). Bridal Branial Breakdown, or Triple B as I like to refer to it occurs when the bride begins to over think things too much (i.e. bridesmaid dresses) and her brain starts to smoke (pouring out of her ears predominately, but nose is also an option if the condition escalates), and then her eyes start to water (looking suspiciously like tears) and then her head starts to play music (very much like bongo drums) and from there, well, from there the situation just escalates. Candidly, if you had asked me two years ago whether I would care how long the dresses were I would of said, "Do I care if they even wear dresses? Pants or a skirt would work"… funny what an engagement ring + a year and a half of planning + a looming wedding date does to a gal's brain? The Bridal Branial Breakdown gets em every time!

Okay, so once the length decision was made, the colour had to be selected, but the colour, oh the colour! How many shades of green are there? One million? Green can come in shades ranging from grass, to kiwi, to celadon (what the $%^&@# is celadon?), to sage, to mint green, to sea foam, to hunter, to army green, to asparagus, to British racing green (maybe for a car, not for a dress!), to chartreuse, to fern green, to gray-asparagus, to honeydew, to olive, to Sacramento State green, to shamrock… well you get my point (and by the way could someone please explain to me who came up with the term "gray-asparagus green" – what the heck kind of asparagus were they eating?)... before we go any further I need to pause here as my brain needs a break, I was beginning to feel like Bubba from Forest Gump for a second… okay now I am focused again, where was I? Right Dresses!

I didn't pick this one!

Colour may seem simple, in fact it should be, but yet again you have to worry about what people will be willing to wear, skin tone, hair colour, and, and, AND! For instance I have spent my whole life dreaming of having sage green bridesmaid dresses, however when it came to pass I made my third mistake: I wasn't insistent enough on the colour… who knew sage wouldn't be loved by all? In the end the dresses are not going to be sage (it is a secret, because, well, some things have to be a secret for the big day), but it wasn't because of public opinion, the choice was all mine and frankly because my Unit is about as dedicated as dedicated can be they probably would have been willing to wear burlap sacks if I had asked nicely enough and added a cherry on top to sweeten the deal, so no one fret that perhaps I have chosen something that doesn't make me happy.

Photoshop Rocks!  Can't Give the Secret Away! 

My Lovely Unit

In the end I survived, and we ended up with what I consider the most beautiful bridesmaid dress in the world. It didn't take until closing time and we are all in one piece! I am so excited to see my beautiful Unit dressed in their finery on my wedding day (214 days and counting!) that I am practically bouncing off of the chair right now! Thanks ladies for dealing with my indecisiveness (it was only because I wanted you to look beautiful), but know one thing for sure, I definitely didn't make a mistake choosing y'all to stand by me for our big day (even if I occasionally develop a severe case of the Triple B)!

Cakes and Kilts... What More Could a Girl Ask For?

Wow there is less than eight months until the big day; time has flown so fast! January has been jammed packed with wedding activities and the excitement is building. The last two weeks have seen us take care of ordering the cake, the lads (going for the Scottish thing) getting sized for kilts, and my Lassie’s (AKA the Unit) picking their bridesmaid dresses!

And the journey begins! 

Doesn't he look cute?... confused about his apparel, but cute!

For Brandon and I cake is not the most important part. It is obviously a key to the whole day (you have to have something to shove in your new spouse’s face), but for us a wedding is not defined by cake... however... there are some that would disagree and by that standard we still have to choose a wedding cake that is edible and at least goes with the whole wedding motif we have tried to create.

Enter Aunt Audrey’s Cakes (for more information please visit:
http://auntaudreyscakes.com/)... and may I say YUM! Instead of being a lack lustre experience I completely enjoyed the cake sampling and the cake design we chose. This is where I have to give a shout out to Brandon for his fantastic ability to understand food; he has this incredible knack for mixing the right sauces, spices, carbs, proteins and vegetables into the tastiest mixtures one has ever tasted! In fact I have been known refer to Brandon as the king of Subway as without fail we can stand in line at Subway right beside each other and put the exact same ingredients on a sub, but every time (EVERY SINGLE TIME) Brandon’s sub ends up being 1000% better than mine (amazing but true). He actually might be the eighth wonder of the food world... Anyway, back to the cake...

Landon... Booyah!

I don’t want to ruin the surprise, so I will leave it that we chose a lovely cake and I am completely pumped to have what appears to be a lovely food item to shove in Brandon’s face (mwhahaha, mwhahaha)... well, not really... this is where I have to be honest... I am not into the whole cake in the face thing... in fact it kind of disturbs me and as the resident diabetic in the relationship I feel shoving a pile of sugar in my face (even if it misses my mouth) is just bad mojo for the day – sugar is evil stuff and I wouldn’t put it past it to try to absorb through my skin into my blood stream and send me on a high that no legal or illegal drug could produce. I am explaining this right now so no one thinks I am being a stick in the mud on the big day... I am just being practical... we all know how my luck works and if it wasn’t a crazy high blood sugar as a result of my face being caked it would be my uncanny ability to somehow get icing in my eye and end up blind... therefore, it is just better to avoid, avoid, avoid.

I think someone finds something funny!

The next wedding event that transpired was something that both Brandon and I have been eagerly anticipating for months – the kilts! We can’t call ourselves off kilter if we don’t have kilts! Therefore, on a sunny day in January we went to the Scottish Company at Leslie and the 401 and were sized... now frankly I am going to try to do my best to explain, but the pictures will have to do most of the talking because frankly it was so much fun to see.

Sue you cannot hide from the camera!

One big topic during the course of the fitting was the to wear underwear or not debate... this has been a critical debate for months and one that I personally feel is open, shut... and covered! The gentleman who fitted the guys and doll(s) pointed one important fact out to the troop and that was... THESE ARE RENTED KILTS and perhaps you won’t want to share space quite that way. Therefore, the jury is still out, but I am thinking with arguments like that it won’t be that much longer until a clear distinction is made.

I'm not sure about the shoes Deep, but you look pretty darn good in a kilt!

In addition to Brandon’s gang we had two younger visitors with us: Carter (remember him? he was just born not that long ago) and Brandon’s niece Alyssa (absolutely adorable young lady). It was great to have them along for the ride and frankly they work well in pictures!

(Left to Right)

Mom practicing her baby holding techniques on Carter

It looks like Brandon is kidnapping Alyssa away... Run Alyssa, Run!

Okay, okay, that is probably enough for tonight, but that leaves the tale about bridesmaid dresses for next time! Therefore, stay tuned and while I think these jokes are mildly tasteless those who are anti-kilt will probably get a chuckle and occasionally I have to provide you folks and outlet for your unkiltsmanlike opinions (and the guys and doll(s) of Brandon’s gang a few options for comebacks on the wedding day... ummmm Sue I don’t know what you are going to say, but we’ll work on it)!

(Left to Right) Suzie Q and Terry Too... My parents and me... I am so lucky! 

Therefore, a few responses to the question: What do you wear under your kilt?

1. Nothing is worn, in fact everything is in good working order!
2. My mother once told me a decent lady wouldn’t ask, God bless ’er she was right!

3. On a good day lipstick (okay that one is inappropriate, but I laughed really hard)!

4. My shoes and socks!

5. Ahhh lass I am a man of few words... (and one can imagine where that ends!)

6. My Scottish Pride!
(For more information on jokes that will tickle your sporran please visit: http://hubpages.com/hub/thejockspot_UP_YOUR_KILT and/or http://www.realmenwearkilts.net/what.html)  

PS I didn't want to give away any "real" pictures of the kilts since I figure that should be a surprise.  However, I will let you know that the tartan is Scottish National and the whole kilt fitting was one of my favourite parts so far!

On Hold...

I am sitting in my bedroom on hold with product support for Medtronic Canada (Diabetes hotline) and they are telling me that my wait time will be up to (and potentially more than) one hour; this is one of the moments in one's life when crying seems like the best option. Therefore, instead of staring at the wall or playing a game of Solitaire (which now that I have said it I am itching to do) I figured I would write a post and try to catch everyone up on "life after the dress". So much has happened (even before we went to Pennsylvania) and I feel the need to recap the comings and goings of the last few weeks before I can get back into wedding related conversation.

Now "life after the dress" may sound a little like the climax has come and gone and everything is downhill, but frankly I haven't had a lot of time to kick back and relax. First, as many have heard and I have been quick to mention, I had the dreaded Swine (don't wish it upon my worst enemy), but have no fear I survived and you will too (if and when you get it). Literally I came back from Pennsylvania and the next thing I knew I was sick as a dog and in bed quarantined in the guest room of my house. At this time I would like to extend a special shout out to my family for being absolutely fantastic and impressively zealous towards the sanitation of me and everything I came in contact with (I practically had a love affair with Purell and Kleenex).

My Wonderful Family!

Speaking of hand sanitizer, can I ask... is there anyone out there that is really annoyed with themselves they did not buy stock in a) whatever pharmaceutical company develops and produces TamiFlu, and, b) hand sanitizer? I just keep thinking the entire wedding, house, car and first child could have been bankrolled if I had thought strategically and bought stock in such entities. However, hindsight is always 20/20 and therefore I will not dwell... you know me I never obsess... (cough, cough, drove to PA for a dress). Better yet the Government of Canada could have bought stock... think about the debt recovery plan.

In Ottawa - Peter Mansbridge and I

Once I had recovered from my illness (which thankfully I did not get as badly as some – my best wishes to all those who have been seriously ill and to their families – it is not easy and I only wish you the best) it was off to Ottawa for the Governor General's Order of Canada Mentorship Program 2009 of which I am a participant (for more information visit: www.gg.ca). I will not go into great detail in relation to the program, as this is a wedding blog and I am assuming you are here for wedding related information, but there is one anecdote I wish to share from my trip, which I hope you will find humourous... or if nothing else shake your head and say "Oh Marie!".

One of the fantastic experiences that I had an opportunity to take part in was the launch of Veterans' Week at the Senate. Following the ceremony we met with the Speaker of the Senate (Noel Kinsella, for more information visit: http://sen.parl.gc.ca/nkinsella/English/Biography-e.htm). When His Honour entered the room I stood, but in the process of standing I managed to knock over my water bottle (which I had placed on the floor to be respectful). My water bottle (not caring obviously about my sense of pride) decided to roll in front of His Honour practically tripping him in the process. Now, one could imagine my sheer horror at that experience as within seconds of meeting the man I practically break his neck and end up on the 11 o’clock news as the idiot who nearly took him out. However, as a true man of grace he picked up my water bottle, refrained from commenting on my red face and continued along his way to the head of the table.

Upon reaching the head of the table he sat down (as did I) and turned to me. This was a moment of uncertainty and sheer panic as I was afraid I was about to receive a lecture on proper Senate etiquette from the SPEAKER OF THE SENATE. After he had inquired about my name, he proceeded to ask if I knew where I was (uh oh...). After a few quick answers (and the redness in my poor face steadily increasing), he asked me “no, where are you right now?” to which I answered as politely as I could, “a chair?” Apparently that answer was correct (thank God), but there was more to the story than that. Once I had provided my answer it was explained to me that the chair I was sitting in was none other than the chair Barak Obama had sat in when he was in Canada in February! Yes that is right folks – Barak and I are chair buddies (how cool is that?). Having shared what I consider the greatest story ever (but trust me the horror of nearly tripping the man will never be far from my mind), I will return to wedding related conversation.

The Chair!

In “life after the dress”, dresses are still a hot topic as bridesmaids dresses are next on the chopping block. Thus far I have been out shopping twice; once with my sister and mom and once with my entire Unit. It has been hard to find the right dress so far (there’s a surprise) and while I am not prepared to drag my lovely ladies to Pennsylvania I want them to be as happy with their dresses as I am with mine – therefore our next project will be finding the perfect bridesmaid dresses. An experience which I am sure will be a source of endless amusement... so far we are rather focused on finding a wedding dress for Lorraine to try on (just for fun) from the “it’s not too late” section (PS Just for clarification: she is married).

The Unit!

 Now I think I have caught up everyone on my “life after the dress” (or at least a summary – the last few weeks have been crazy!). My next post will be about Brandon’s crew as thus far I haven’t had a chance to fill everyone in on the who’s who of Brandon’s group... I do have to say, now that I have finished this post, it is hard to write about “life after the dress”, but perhaps it is time to bring forward a new era... dreaming about someone answering the phone!

My Soon to be Family

(PS Megan took the pictures - pretty good eh?)

The Unit:

A phrase that has appeared in several of my previous "ramblings" is "The Unit" and thus far this phrase has gone unexplained, a situation I wish to correct, right here, right now. However, before I provide an explanation I feel it is important to first define what "The Unit" is not before explaining what "The Unit" is. Therefore, please indulge the following... 

"The Unit" is Not:

... a reference to the CBS television show that went off the air tragically because the network failed to capitalize on a show featuring hot guys in army uniforms (genius I say, genius) (for more information please visit: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/the_unit/ - they really are hot!);

...a form/method of measurement (i.e. one unit of blood... or better yet one unit of alcohol);

...a music group (i.e. "G-Unit");

...a synthpunk band from San Francisco from 1978 to 1984 ("The Units");

...an enzyme cavity; and/or,

...an indie pop album by the Australian band "Regurgitator" (yes, they are named Regurgitator and yes I would like tickets to one of their concerts purely because they are called “Regurgitator”... I wonder if Gravol is a sponsor?).

My Bridesmaids (Wedding Party Party, September 18, 2009)

Now that I have clarified what "The Unit" is not, I would like to clarify what it is... "The Unit" refers to the gang of ladies I am lucky to have support me during the 11 months (eek 11 months!) left before my wedding day... AKA: My Bridesmaids. Therefore, "The Unit" is a term meaning friend and support system and while there is no Wikipedia article that demonstrates this fact just take my word for it... mind you I wouldn't mind being supported by a troop of hot guys in uniform (friend or foe) so perhaps we can hope for a looser definition in the future.

The history of the term (so you don't think I am some crazy, militaristic loon) relates back to a simple conversation I had with "The Unit" at the Wedding Party Party. During the course of the evening I referred to everyone in the Wedding Party as a cohesive group a "Unit" if you will... Now for some reason this turn of phrase sparked concern (errr... terror) for my bridesmaids as for some reason images of me with a whip and a box of invitations to be put together flitted through their heads (not quite sugarplums, but hey it works for me... what is the saying, "absolute power corrupts absolutely"?). Nonetheless, it has warmed to all (by hook or by crook, cough...) and I couldn't be happier with the name [as who knows I may really be a crazy, militaristic loon after all].

And now I would like to introduce you to the group of ladies I am pleased to say comprise "The Unit" (in no particular order):

Megan (Maid of Honour or in keeping with my crazy, militaristic loon side - Lt. General): Megan has been my sister, friend, enemy, confidant, life support and everything in between pretty much since she was born (there was some doubt earlier in this decade, but it has all been resolved) and that is why she is going to stand beside me as my Maid of Honour – we share friendship, as well as a gene pool;

Sisters!  Toronto Wedding Show (February 2009)

Elizabeth (Rear Admiral - she travels a lot so that's why she's Navy as opposed to Army): Elizabeth and I met at the felt board on our first day of kindergarten and no matter how far we travel we always come back to the same spot - friendship (err... I don't really travel she does, but for the purposes of my ego let's say we);

We've come a LONG way from the felt board Lady!

Lorraine (Major-General): Having been friends for just over 5 years I have to be honest we met because of chicken (ahh the Swiss), but formed a lasting friendship because of her willingness to put up with Brandon (oh and because of laughter, friendship and me giving her directions… poor girl).

Is it a Monkey?  Is it a Pindrop?  No (we hope!) it's a Baby!

Mallory (Major General): Whether we are fending off Stratfordian Pirates or in elementary school lip-synching to "I Can't Wait to be King" Mallory's support and friendship has never been far from hand and she can’t run away from it no matter how far she runs (and I mean she can REALLY run far!).

Maybe we should give you a moment?

Now that I have introduced "The Unit" I would like to add a couple of other add ons to my contingent that cannot be omitted despite their gender, location or species... they are as follows:

Laura (Queen Mum): Being the head of the female branch of my family my mom performs every job from Chief Cook and Bottle Washer to Medic... (tear);

Robert (Admiral): Being the head of the male branch of my family he too performs every job from Quartermaster to Latrine Duty... (I love you guys);

They must love me...

Kathy (AWOL): From Pathfinders to Swiss, Kathy is a true friend… despite the fact she has taken off for the beautiful mountains of BC she is not far from my mind (I miss you Kathy);

Doesn't she make a beautiful bride?  (Kathy's Wedding - July 2006)

Piper (Private): Piper is definitely in the wedding party even if my mother is still opposed to the plan and his not so human status may create a few obstacles to the overall success of my getting up the aisle (he will want my bouquet guaranteed). Nevertheless, Private Piper cannot be left out as he serves as the Court Jester and performs the supply end of the supply and demand chain of Dad’s latrine duty.

Fashion Forward?  Look at how the blue brings out his fur...

Coming Next Spring - "Barking Up The Fashion Tree: Queer Eye for the Straight Dog"

Now that you have been formally introduced to "The Unit" it is time to say good night; it is Friday and while I may be the General of this rag-tag team of Army/Navy/Deserters I always have zero energy on Friday nights. However, if you take anything from this posting please keep the following in mind: I am looking for a team of hot guys in uniform to support me (love you ladies and all, but really don’t you think the wedding might be more fun?)... mind you I guess I could settle for a guy I love to pieces and wouldn’t trade for a million bucks (he does wear a uniform after all!). 

Now for those of you who are concerned that I have forgotten Brandon's crew, don't worry.

There will be a description to follow soon.