Ronda, Anna, Rick, and Tim... hopefully winning some big money!
Thanks Bill for dealing cards!
With friends and family coming from places as remote as Barrie, Ontario (so far away!), as dangerous as Jane and Finch (hehehehe), and as deep south as Birmingham, Alabama, Brandon and I spent the night surrounded by a wonderful group of people who apparently care about us – who knew we were so lucky?!
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We love you all!
The event kicked off at 8 p.m., with casino games, raffles, 50/50s, and most importantly drinks! Upon entry Immediately Brandon and I were handcuffed together by my lovely (cough) sister and we had to buy our way out of the cuffs… to do so we had to do any number of silly/embarrassing/sentimental/horrifying/death defying activities to buy our way out… some of the highlighted activities included: Brandon having to take his shirt off, the “truffle shuffle” (apparently you have to watch the Goonies to know what this is referring to), singing off key to Sonny and Cher, and the grand finale… (are you ready for this?) I had to give Brandon a “meatball blow job”. If children are reading this (or adults that are sensitive to horrifying acts performed with food) I would recommend skipping this section!
So you are probably wondering, what on earth is a “meatball blow job”? Don’t worry I was in the same boat, but as we were offered $40 to perform this “activity” it seemed worth our while to pursue the concept. Therefore, I shall now explain such a “novelty” so that others may (or may not) incorporate this into their lives.
Instruction Manual – Meatball Blow Job:
1. Have partner lie on back [Brandon was the partner in our case].
2. Have partner roll up shirt to expose belly button [are you gagging? giggling? or just grossed out?].
3. Kneel beside partner [I was the kneeler in our case].
4. Have third person place a hot, gooey, slimy, sauce covered meatball directly on partner’s belly button [have you thrown up yet?].
5. Lean over and eat said meatball out of partner’s belly button [OMG!].
6. Sit back chewing (it may burn a little) and wonder if you will ever be the same again [I wasn’t, nor will be…].
Once I had recovered from such a “wondrous” experience it was time for other antics … as the room was about the same temperature as the sun (or perhaps 1-2 degrees hotter) a table fan was auctioned off to our “steamy” crowd… frankly I would have paid any amount of money for it at that point, but it seemed a little selfish. The Shaw Clan (Paul, Leslie, Murray, and Meri-Lynn) won the fan and were able to cool down their surroundings slightly. I on the other hand was ready to fling myself into a vat of ice cream to cool down… mind you I would normally be willing to do that!
Mike and Amandeep - Amandeep you look happy!
Another highlighted event was the “pie-ing” of Brandon, Lanny, and I… pies were auctioned off for each of us (to the highest bidder) and then thrown in our faces – to add insult to injury ;-)… Lanny was pied by my cousin Julien who demonstrated she has an arm fit for Major League Baseball (the splatter was humongous!), I was pied by Lanny (perhaps he was bitter about his own pie-ing experience?), and lastly Brandon was pied by the one, the only, Faye. After having spent a large amount of Brandon’s teenage and twenties semi-living with him and his brother, Faye had a lot of pent up “excitement” that needed to be executed onto Brandon’s face… and so she did and may I say, she did it well.
Two other great fundraisers for the evening were the selling of “real-estate” space on a pair of boxers for Brandon to wear under his kilt (HE WILL BE WEARING SOMETHING – YEAH!)… different regions of the pair were sold for different prices and let me tell you there are some rather exciting and concerning comments provided… I think rulers and directional arrows were involved...
Elizabeth displaying Brandon's wedding under kilt wear...
Another intriguing fundraiser was a simple that led to hilarious results… a jar filled with Hershey’s Kisses was raffled off and my Aunt Donna was the lucky winner… for which Brandon provided her with a rather energetic dance (it was mildly creepy for me, but entertaining as all get out for everyone else). I think Aunt Donna will never be the same again!
As the fun-filled night drew to a close, prizes were raffled off and the final prize (a massive Texas Mickey of scotch) was won by the piper for our wedding – Denise (could there have been anyone more fitting?).
I was going to write out the list of people that need to be thanked, but out of sheer fear of forgetting someone I will just say:
Thank you to our wonderful family, friends, and co-workers who joined us for the evening, laughed with us, laughed at us, flew across North America to be there, took pictures, dealt cards, jumped in out of the blue and ensured the 50/50s were a success, prepared food, tended bar, organized the evening, and/or contributed in someway shape and/or form to the event. It was a wonderful experience that Brandon and I will remember for the rest of our lives. We love you all and you have each contributed to making a special night and our wedding that much more meaningful… and of course introducing to the world for the first time ever: THE MEATBALL BLOW JOB!
PS... I would like to say a special thank you to Tamara Kaye of Instyle Weddings and Decor who decorated the hall for us - she did a beautiful job in sage and ivory and to be honest it made the whole event look beautiful! Thank you Tamara - as per usual you are wonderful.
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